The best way I can say this – the journey so far is a war on your body and your mind. I am trying to be calm when I write this but let me tell you … I am holding strong after a few breakdowns already.
Where do I start? I have asked myself this question now for 7 days, since 3pm on April 30, 2021 to be exact. The question of “where do I start” is loaded. This could mean, “where do I start writing”, “where do I start processing my thoughts”, “where do I start organising my life”. There are more question marks then there are answers and I am turning to writing for support, answers, and maybe….just maybe….I can help just one other couple navigate the confusion, worry and stress of all of this.
I should precede this by saying, I am a type A personality and need everything to be organised, planned then reviewed before I become “okay” with a plan. IVF does not fit within my need for control or organisation. The purpose of this blog is to share my thoughts, experiences and what is working for me. If you or someone close to you has battled with infertility, I wish I could reach out and hug them through the screen. What I am feeling right now, it surreal and so hard to explain but there are a million emotions to process and work through. This is only week 1 – and there are so many ups and downs it is mind-numbing.
The battle with myself about whether I wanted to share our experience with you all has been a challenge. Finally, I realised that IVF is now a big part of my personal life, which extends to all aspects of my professional life. This is aa journey that I know it 100% supported by the values and beliefs I bring to AWPilates that by sharing my story I hope I can reach at least one other woman (or couple). I hope that someone else reads this and knows that infertility (unexplained or otherwise) does happen, and it is a journey we do not need to take alone. If I can support just one other person through their journey then I know this is all worth it.
Our blogs are taking a turn for the personal – so, if you do not want to hear about the uterus, hormones or fertility best to stop reading now. Things only get more honest from here. For those that have any more specific questions, please feel free to reach out. By email, by text or Facebook messenger, however you feel comfortable. I am happy to listen or chat or help in any way I can. Please know I do not consider myself a writer or an expert in ANY WAY, but I hope to share my thoughts and feelings with you as eloquently as I can.
While I am sharing my experience, I am completely aware that everyone’s experience with infertility is different. I am not stating any of these things as fact, only letting you know what happened to me, how I experienced it, and what I learned. Over the next few months I will share a variety of posts about our 3 year journey to IVF.